Tante T

I've mentioned before (here) how much I adore my nephew. He is such an amazing little human and I get more amazed with him each day as he grows.

Tonight, we were sitting at dinner and out of nowhere he says, "Tante, I tan tome to your house tonight?"

I should pause here to explain why he calls me what he calls me. When he was very small, he had a hard time saying Katie, so he would just shorten it to "T". After he got that down, it became "Aunt T", and now "Tante T". Tante is the German word for Aunt. In our family, our German heritage is very, very important. My sister, cousins, and aunts and uncles grew up calling their grandparents "Oma" and "Opa" - the German translation for grandma and grandpa. When I was little, not only did I have an Oma (my Opa died before I was born), but I had a "second Oma" - we lovingly referred to her as Tante Elsie, or just plain Tante.

She was the sweetest woman with such a dry sense of humor and the most loving and warm smile you could ever see. Her home was a warm and inviting place that always smelled of delicious foods and whatever fresh-cut flowers she might have in a beautiful crystal vase on her end table. I remember her as a woman who was never-tiring and always on-the-go...baking, wrapping, cooking, or tidying up her remarkably spotless home. However busy she was though, I always felt like the most important part of her day. No matter what she was doing, she would stop the moment I walked in the door, put whatever she was busy doing down and sit to ask "how are things going sweetie?" And not one single time that I left her house did she let me leave without a big hug, a kiss, and a "come back and visit me again soon". And that, I did.

So, Sam now calls me "Tante T" or sometimes, if he's in a hurry - just plain "Tante". And each and every single time, I say a little prayer that I can fill such big shoes.

"Tante, I tan tome to your house tonight?", I sent up my little prayer, put down my fork and said, "I would love nothing more than for you to come to my house tonight, Sam." Exactly what my Tante would have said, I hope.

Back to school I go...

I am officially a graduate student. I went through the entire paper-filling-out process, the loan application process, the loan acceptance process, the "will you please write me a letter of recommendation process", the waiting process, and finally the "congratulations, you've been accepted process". I then took a trip down memory lane as I pulled my car into the St. Ambrose University parking lot...haven't done that in a good 4 years. I took a deep breath and walked into the old familiar University Bookstore. I quickly remembered the smells and the adorable memoribilia in that store. I quickly remembered how to locate my books for the 2 classes I will be taking this summer. I quickly remembered where the checkout was. What I did not so quickly remember was how freaking expensive these dumb books are! ((Adult Life Lesson #326: Things are always far more expensive when it is your own money, rather than your parents...)) Yesh. $168.50 later, I was walking out with the THREE books needed for my summer course load.

After returning from this little adventure to the bookstore, I logged onto our on-line campus bulletin board/email system. Haven't done that in quite awhile either (as a funny side note, my student ID information is the same as it was when I was undergrad), once logged in I find my first course's syllabus. Now, this course is entitled "Visioning and School Administration: The School as a Professional Learning Community" - YIKES. So, I open the file, only to find out that it is a hefty 24 pages of reading pleasure. Perfect. I read on to find out that in the course of this 9 day class, there will be many papers, presentations, and much reading due. Excellent.

So, I am officially a graduate student. And I am officially terrified.

I am certain I will make it through, and I am even more certain that I will be a better teacher and someday a strong leader because of this coursework. But for right now, I'm just simply terrified.

Back to school I go.

I choose to be cheerful.

I have been less than pleasant at times for the past few months. Maybe even downright impossible to deal with. Just ask Kevin. I come home exhausted, frustrated, short-tempered, and just in an overall bad mood.

Let me give you a little look into a normal day in my life. I wake up around 7:00, I shower and get ready, I pack a breakfast and lunch, I am out the door by 7:30-7:45, I get my materials ready for the day, my students are in my room by 8:25, school begins by 8:30, I spend all day answering questions, putting out fires, and of course bestowing millions of brilliant ideas onto my precious students (or something like that...), at 3:10 they are dismissed, I spend from 3:10-3:30 cleaning up and putting things back where they belong, by 3:30 more days than not, I am headed to a meeting or a conference, if not, I am correcting papers or writing lesson plans. I leave school around 4:15-4:30 each day and head home to change my clothes and eat a quick dinner before I'm off to the studio for a night of teaching dance. I am often not back home until after 8:00pm and usually still have papers to grade, not even to mention spending time with Kevin or relaxing for a short while before I need to go to bed and begin it all again.

Now, please let me be very clear. I love my jobs. I love my life. Its just sometimes, it overwhelms me. Sometimes I forget that I chose this...all of it.

So yesterday I was browsing one of my favorite blogs (you can find it under Biblical Womanhood over on the right side of the screen in the "other blogs I like" section) when I came across this post. I was moved to tears by her beautiful words. This is exactly what has been on my heart lately.

Here is a very small (but beautiful) excerpt that especially spoke to me:
"As I've thought more on this experience, I've been reminded how little of Calvary Love I've been demonstrating in my life recently. Christ gave His all for me. He chose the beating, the mocking, the nails, the pain, the suffering, the thorns--for me. He did all of this not so I could live a life of selfish comfort and ease, but so I could follow in His steps and live a life poured out for others."

And so, my new goal in life is this. That I will make the choice every single morning to be cheerful. I will choose cheerfulness over grumpiness; I will choose joy over sorrow; I will choose gratefulness over jealousy; I will choose to use the blessings I have been so undeservingly granted to make the journey for someone else a little easier.

I want to live a life that will end with the beautiful sound of my Savior whispering "Well done, my faithful servent". That is my goal, to pour my life out for others with a cheerful heart.

Time sure does fly...

I have never in my life experienced how quickly time flies as much as I have this year. This was the year that my childhood dream came true. Since the moment I stepped foot in school, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I would play school in my house as a child, as a teen I collected things I might use someday in my classroom, I took mental notes of the kind of teacher I wanted to become, I studied long and hard in college to gain the skills necessary to do the best job I could, I endured struggles - both financial and emotional - to get to where I am. But, I'm here. Exactly where I've always dreamed of being. And to be quite honest, more days than not out of these past 177, I could be found wondering why on Earth I wanted this so badly.

This first year of teaching has been anything but blissful. It has been exhausting, frustrating, trying, and just down-right hard. I have spent many afternoons after school in tears and many mornings silently praying for strength and grace to make it through my day. It is a daunting job to be responsible for 27 people and their academic, social, and emotional growth for an entire school year. It is an enormous responsibility to spend all day taking care of everyone, besides myself. Many nights, I come home exhausted and in need of someone to take care of me for a little while. It has been difficult.

But it has also been exhilirating. As I sit here, we have merely 3 days left of the 2008-2009 school year. The dreadful "first year" is almost over. As I am gathering information for the district data we are required to turn in, I am realizing my students made enormous strides this year...in reading, in math, and most importantly in the kind of people they are and will become. It is indeed an awesome responsibility I have to help to mold and shape the kind of people they will grow up to be. I have spent countless hours teaching, then practicing, the re-teaching, and then practicing some more the life skills they will need to be successful teenagers and more importantly adults. How they handle anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, and dissappointment. How will they react when things don't go their way? And how will they react when things do go their way? It is an amazing thing, what teachers do everyday, and I say this with utmost humility, I am amazed at myself.

While they are far from perfect, they are indeed far from where they started. We have worked hard together. We have laughed alot together. We have seen our world change - a new president, a closer look at war, a study of our Nation's history, a clear view of ourselves and a very honest look at the things we need to work on. We have spent 180 days together, approximately 1,170 hours together, about 70,200 minutes together, 4,212,000 seconds together. It seems like a lifetime and a blink of an eye all at the same time. They are different people, and so am I - in more ways than I could possibly count. They have taught me to be patient, kind, honest, tough, compassionate, and humble.

If you were to ask any teacher, they would be able to say without doubt that they remember clearly their first class. And so, I too, join the ranks of teachers who will say, without hesitation that I will never forget these 27 children. I am both hopeful and confident that they will find success on their journey, but I hope that someday, some of them will look back on fifth grade and smile for a little while, knowing that they learned and laughed alot.

I pray that they will be quick with a smile, a helping hand, a thoughtful word, or a compassionate heart. Because for them to learn those qualities in human kind, is my biggest responsibility to them, and this world.

Perhaps I do have the greatest job on Earth. :)

Sam Michael

3 years ago today, my life changed forever. My only sister and very best friend in the world, blessed me with the birth of her first child, Sam Michael. It is the first time in my entire life that I fell in love instantly. The moment I saw him, my heart melted and we've been best buddies ever since.

Sam, I am so blessed and honored that God gave you to us. Your smile lights up my heart and your laugh is one of my most favorite sounds in the world. I am constantly amazed at how smart you're becoming and you keep me laughing with your funny sayings and jokes. I love playing tools, or football, or scrapbooking with you (whichever you're in the mood to play) - and I love even more when you crawl into my lap and cuddle with me.

I wish I could freeze time for a little while to slow down our lives. You're growing up way to fast, right before my very eyes and I know that all too soon, you'll be a "big boy" and won't want to play with me or cuddle...but for now, I'm loving every single second of it.

I hope you have the happiest of days full of laughter and joy and tons of presents that will spoil you rotton...after all, that's my job!

I love you buddy,
Aunt T :)

Pennies make dollars

Yesterday at school we kicked off a fundraising campaign for a charity called Pennies for Peace. (You can click the link to find out more)

This amazing charity was started by a very humble man by the name of Greg Mortenson. Greg was visiting another country when he became very ill. The men and women of this country took care of him until he was well and as he left, he promised them he would re-pay them. As he spent time in this country, he saw many children writing in the dirt with sticks and no teacher. When he inquired about this, the children told him they had to share their teacher with a neighboring village because they could not afford the teacher's $1/day salary - so they had to split the time and salary. Greg saw a need, and stepped up to the plate. He returned to the United States and sent out over 500 letters of request for donations - he did not get one single donation. His mother, an elementary principal, granted him permission to kick-off a fundraiser in her building. This fundraiser raised almost $1,000 in just 6 weeks! And so Pennies for Peace was born.

We had an all-school assembly to kick-off this charity campaign in our building yesterday afternoon. Our librarian, who is heading up this wonderful cause, stood up and told the kids all about it - which got them very excited, but what she said at the end of her speech is what really impacted all of us. She said to them, "Boys and girls, it doesn't matter to me if you bring in a gazillion pennies or zero pennies. The most important thing you can do for this cause is to appreciate the education you are granted here at Mark Twain and in this country." You could've heard a pin drop in that room.

In the introductory video we showed the kids, one student being interviewed from the United States summed things up pretty perfectly. He said, "Here in the United States, well we have to go to school. It's a requirement. In Pakistan, and lots of other countries around our world, well, it's a privledge". How true those words are.

How often I forget the privledges I have been granted - not because of the kind of person I am, not because of how hard I work, just simply because I was blessed to be born in the United States.

If you are interested in making a donation, please don't hesitate to contact me. Our school goal is to raise $5,000 over the course of the next year. That $5,000 will supply one school for an entire year. Amazing.

Prayers Please...

Please pray for my Uncle Paul who had a heart attack last night and is still in ICU as of this afternoon. He is a very active business owner who has a pretty on-the-go-all-the-time lifestyle. He loves his family with his whole heart and is one of the most kind, gentle, and humble men I have ever met. He and his family are in need of prayers right now - prayers for comfort, peace, healing, and strength.

Peace & Love
Katie